He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
