oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
