super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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