You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
