I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
