my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
