I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
