what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
