Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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