plz talk dirty to me
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Randomize
