mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
