she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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