Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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