he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
