she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
