After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
