Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
