I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
