Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
