All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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