You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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