Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
