trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
