Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
