I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
