I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
