Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
