do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
