This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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