one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
