I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
