How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
they need to just BURY HIM!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
