Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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