she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
