what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
