i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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