lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
