we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
