Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry about my life...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
