That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
