just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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