shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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