great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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