before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
