Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
