yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
