i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
