Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
