i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
