i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
