i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
