1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
