He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
