Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
